‎*Mom hands me phone to answer*

• Me: Hello?
• Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
• Me: I have no mother.
• Her: Well can I speak to your father?
• Me: Yeah, which one?
• Her: Which one is home?
• Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
• Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
• Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
• Her: So who's Antonio?
• Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
• Her: So Carlos was cheating?
• Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
• Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
• Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
• Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
• Me: I never said that.
• Her: Yes, yes you did!
• Me: No I didn't.
• Her: Y-yes! You did!
• Me: Did what?
• Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.

One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple. Jack Kerouac (via unmane)

(Source: hellanne, via stuckupteen)